27 Sep Thanks, But No Thanks: When Someone Has Good Intentions, But You Need Them To Stop [TJJS:EP363]
when someone has good intentions, but you need them to stop
Recently, a listener wrote into the show expressing a specific challenge she had been struggling with: Telling her super-sweet, well-meaning husband to STOP doing something. Something that was really kind and definitely from a place of love and adoration for her. I mean… she didn’t want to break his heart or seem ungrateful. So, does one just bite the tongue and grin and bear it? Not exactly.
When someone is an asshole, that’s one thing. At least they’re making your job easier. But, what do you do when you don’t want that second date with someone with the biggest heart? Or how do you tell your mom to stop buying something for your home that you really don’t need/want?
In this week’s show, I look at specific phrases and tactics to use when telling someone, “Um, thanks, but no thanks” without feeling like a big asshole. If you have always stayed silent because GOD FORBID you hurt someone’s feelings, this pod is a must-listen. We’ll look at exactly how to deliver your request with grace and kindness so that you are far more likely to get your needs met… without being riddled with guilt.
This pod explores:
- The number one thing you MUST avoid if you want to get your needs met
- Specific verbiage and phrases to use to gently request someone change their behavior
- How to use vulnerability in a safe way to help you connect with the other party (and get what you want)
- How to truly hear someone out without taking on shit that isn’t yours to carry
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