Your Go-To, Self-Sabotaging Behaviors & How to Change Them [TJJS:EP190]

self-sabotaging behaviors

self-sabotaging behaviors

UUnless you’re some kind of alien species living amongst us humans (in which case… #creepy), you undoubtedly have a litany of go-to behaviors or actions you employ when you straight-up Don’t. Want. To. Deal. In Millennial language, the shit you do when you Literally Can’t Even.

Sometimes it can be “noble” go-to behaviors like over-working, throwing yourself into parenting, or working out like Jillian on crack instead of really looking at what it is that you don’t want to feel. And perhaps you have some not-so-noble behaviors like blaming everyone else (like your ex) or binging out on some Ben n’ Jerry’s or drinking a bottle of wine all by yourself… simply because being with the guilt/self-loathing/embarrassment/grief/overwhelm/sadness, just feels waaaaaay too unbearable.

If any of that sounds eerily familiar, no need to bust out more Bn’J’s or start a new business to distract yourself… In fact, it just means that you’re fucking human. And just like most human behavior, the more you understand it and have compassion for it, the more you can create empowering change. In this week’s episode I’m joined by my bestie (and total badass) Andrea Owen where we discuss how to identify your go-to, self-sabotaging behaviors and how you can start altering them for the better.

This pod explores:

  • How to figure out what your go-to, self-sabotaging behaviors are (including some you may be shocked by!)
  • What the 80/20 rule is an how it applies to dealing with uncomfortable emotions
  • How blame and control tend to be easy go-to’s when you’re overwhelmed/stressed/pissed and how to channel (not squash) that energy for the better
  • Why you MUST embrace self-sabotage if you ever want to create change



Join me and my bestie for our very first Self-Love Retreat happening in May 2017!

Space is extremely limited as only 20 spots are/were available. We will be taking a small army of women to a #gorge boutique hotel in Asheville, North Carolina to discuss all things self-love during a luxe (and all-inclusive… HELLO!) weekend away.

We will be teaching our signature Master’s Course curriculum which covers re-routing your self-talk, changing your relationship to your self-worth (hello, Enoughness!), how to forgive yourself for past mistakes, and how to navigate uncomfortable emotions.

Want the specifics? Of course you do. Simply swing by this page or click the image above to see if it’s just the ass kickin’ you need!

Additional Resources

  • Episode #136 of Andrea’s Podcast where I’m a guest and we chat about a specific listener’s request for help around ending emotional affairs – Listener Q+A on Affairs, Intimacy, + More
  • Pod #189 – Combating “All or Nothing” Thinking
  • Pod #151 – Letting Go of Blame
  • Facebook Video I mentioned about our natural inclinations as humans to do everything we can to avoid pain, including painful emotions
  • Although not mentioned in this episode, you may also enjoy Andrea’s podcast episode discussing how she was able to stay sober amidst the overwhelming grief of losing her father… Another great example of allowing room to feel and still being conscious about choice of behavior

Meet Andrea Owen, The Special Guestie this week!

Andrea Owen is an author, mentor, and certified life coach who helps women get what they want by letting go of perfectionism, control, and isolation and choosing to practice courage instead. She has helped thousands of women manage their inner-critic to create loving connections and live their most kick-ass life.

She is the proud author of 52 Ways to Live a Kick-Ass Life: BS Free Wisdom to Ignite Your Inner Badass and Live the Life You Deserve,  (Adams Media).

When she’s not juggling her full coaching practice and writing her second book, Andrea is busy competing in triathlons, chasing her 7 year-old son and 5 year-old daughter or making out with her husband, Jason. She is also a retired roller derby player having skated under the name “Veronica Vain”.

Learn more about Andrea at and join the fun and wisdom at

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How to Let Go of Perfection

How to Let Go of Perfection