Shit You Say Instead of Saying What You Really Mean, Part 1 [TJJS:EP197]

Saying What You Really Mean

Saying What You Really Mean

II get it. You were told to never hurt anyone’s feelings. You were told to “not rock the boat”. You were told to “not let people down”. And you took that to heart. When you had a problem with something your bestie said, you swept it under the rug. Don’t rock the boat. When you had probs in the bedroom, you told your bestie and your therapist, but you could neeeever tell your spouse! I mean… that would destroy him/her.

And, you continue this pattern throughout your life. When you’re pissed at your boss, you find co-workers to collude with, but never bring up the issue to the powers that be. When you don’t like how your mother-in-law is butting into your parenting, you bite your lip. And, then maybe have an explosive fight with your partner about it.

Listen, I feel you. For many of us, we have lived our entire lives believing that saying what we really mean is a recipe for disaster and should be avoided at all costs. But here’s the clincher: If you constantly do and say shit instead of saying what you really need/want/feel, you are sending yourself a huge, subconscious message that everyone else’s wants, needs, and opinions are more important than yours. Not to mention that you’re kinda being a liar.

In this episode, I look at six common tactics we employ instead of saying what we really mean, hoping that the other party will be able to read our signs and signals and magically be what we need. How’s that working out? That’s what I thought.

This pod explores:

  • The most common self-talk we use to justify “sweeping it under the rug”
  • How joking about shit you’re actually serious about is completely shooting yourself in the foot
  • How to know if there is something you need to give voice to… even if you really don’t want to
  • The ways in which you may be a big ‘ol liar and haven’t even realized it (It’s okay. We can fix it.)




Join me for a totally FREE (and totally awesome) virtual workshop where you’ll learn:

  • How to stop taking responsibility for everyone else’s happiness shit (as in, trying to make mom/boss/hubs happy… at all times. #exhausting)
  • How to actually set and enforce boundaries in your life without being riddled by guilt (And you’ll learn what-the-hell a boundary even is.)
  • How to speak up for yourself without being a total dick (It’s easier than you think!)
  • How to change your relationship to fear so you aren’t always so god-damned afraid of going after things you want (Or speaking up to you-know-who.)

You in? Of course you are! Simply swing by this page or click the image above to secure your seat!

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