Is My Partner a Manipulator? Wait… Am I a Manipulator? [TJJS:EP188]

is my partner a manipulator

is my partner a manipulator

EEver have conversations with your spouse and think, “Damn, that statement sounded awfully manipulative… is he just trying to get me to do what he wants? Am I crazy for over-thinking this?” Or maybe it’s the other way around… Maybe you offer up some advice to your partner, possibly suggesting a workout he may dig or how work could be smoother for him, and he yells, “You’re always trying to change me!” And, you’re like, “Um. No. You were just bitching about work, so naturally I told you what you should do about it!” And, you keep butting heads… keep having breakdowns in communication. And, it stifles your connection, trust, and vulnerability.

Recently, a listener wrote in to the show asking how to handle being called “a manipulator” by her partner when she is pretty sure she isn’t one. I mean… how does one know if one is a manipulator? Perhaps you have come up against similar communication barriers with your partner. Maybe you haven’t been called “a manipulator” per se, but perhaps you’ve been accused of “nothing ever being good enough” or “always trying to change me”. Most of the time, what the two of you are up against is a serious disconnect in communication… and listening to one another. Have a listen and learn the difference between straight-up manipulation and an un-intentional breakdown in communication.

This pod explores:

  • The number one factor to look for in order to figure out if your partner is a manipulator
  • How your unsolicited advice is likely killing the communication in your partnership
  • How to figure out if your intention is pure (Hint: It usually is, it’s just expressed poorly)
  • EXACT phrasing to use to approach challenging topics with your partner without coming across bossy, forceful, or manipulative


Additional Resources:

How to Leave iTunes Reviews:

  • Click the “Subscribe on iTunes” button below or go to
  • Click on blue button that reads “view in iTunes” which will open the podcast into your personal iTunes account
  • Click “Ratings & Reviews” under the show title
  • Click the star rating of choice and then click the “Write a Review” button
  • You can also click “Subscribe” under the podcast photo to be automatically notified of new episodes

Want to Submit a Show Topic?

Swing by THIS PAGE and let us hear what you would like us to sound off on!


How to Let Go of Perfection

How to Let Go of Perfection