59 Ways to Pay Attention to Your Relationship

If you follow my rants, you know that I am always talking about how relationships do not fall apart over night-they fall apart over time due to LACK OF MAINTENANCE. I see so many couples who get caught up in, well… LIFE, and in doing so, completely forget to take care of their marriage/partnership. I am a firm believer that the key to a sublimely happy relationship is DAILY maintenance. Doesn’t matter how gorgeous the plant was when you bought it: if you don’t water it… it will die. Feel me? (If it feels like a ton of work, you may be with the wrong person. Just sayin’.) If you really love that person, but you’ve gotten into a rut, no biggie, just start paying attention. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Just because you get out of shape, doesn’t mean you can’t start hitting the gym again. It takes some time, but you can get that rockin’ bod back. You want a happy, fulfilling relationship? Start taking care of it. DO SOMETHING. Today. Here’s some ideas. Read on.

1.Have a sacred ritual for leaving each other in the morning.

2.Read a book together.

3.Go to a adult shop together… buy some fun stuff.

4.Start new traditions together.

5.Plan out your yearly goals together.

6.Tell each other what you’re thankful for everyday.

7.Ask your partner how his/her day was… AND REALLY LISTEN.

8.If you are super tight on money, put that into getting a sitter and have a picnic.

9.Get library cards together.

10.Try new sexual positions.

11.Talk about your dream home together. How many rooms? What would it look like?

12.Play board games together.

13.Ask your partner how you can be a better spouse for them. What would they want more of/less of in the

14.Cook dinner together.

15.Have sex in a new place/room/wall/stairs/yard in your home.

16.Wear matching Halloween costumes.

17.Go to a coffee shop and take turns asking each other questions from The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock.

18.Learn about something together.

19.Listen first. Then hear. Then speak. After a long pause.

20.Leave a surprise note for your partner.

21.Support each other.

22.Tell your partner what you love about them. At least one a day.

23.Develop a new code/word/phrase/signal the means “I love you”.

24.Text each other. And not just about “to-dos”. Or the kids. Or the pets. Say sweet, cute shit.

25.Shave/wax your shit. Men, do some manscaping. Seriously.

26.Fall in love with you. (As Mr. Smith likes to tell me, “I like you, when YOU like you.”).

27.Stop thinking about what you’re going to say and LISTEN.

28.Switch what side of the bed you sleep on. Or sleep sideways. Or your heads at the foot of the bed.

29.Acknowledge each other’s efforts.

30.Look into each other’s eyes for 1 minute straight.

31.Try to draw each other.

32.Go to a farmer’s market together.

33.Kiss good night. Every night.

34.Light candles the next time you have sex.

35.Only go to bed mad if you are 100% sure both of you will wake up.

36.Go roller skating.

37.Pick out your kids names before you ever plan on having kids. Or if you never plan on having them.

38.Start a piggy bank for only fun stuff to splurge on.

39.Decorate your home for the holidays together.

40.Say to no to shit you don’t want to do.

41.Help each other out.

42.Say thank you. Often. Always.

43.Respect each other’s time, roles, values, dreams, life.

44.Listen to what your partner is in to. Even if it bores the shit outta you.

45.Be honest.


47.Write out everything you love about your partner and leave it for him/her to find.

48.Communicate candidly. Not in a joking manner. Not in a passive aggressive manner. Just say what you
need to have heard.

49.Build something together.Could you be a better partner? Then do it.

50.Pray together. Or whatever you believe in. Concentrate your energy together.

51.Do an act of kindness together.

52.Greet your partner when he/she gets home.

53.Ask each other out.

54.Plant something together.

55.Have matching coffee mugs in the morning.

56.Touch your partner’s face and say something nice.

57.Ask for space if you need it. And be kind in doing so.

58.Give space.