When Grace and Kindness Don’t Work [TJJS:EP133]

When Grace and Kindness Don’t Work

When Grace and Kindness Don’t Work

If you’ve hung around these parts for a while, you’ll know that one of the cornerstones of my philosophy is that you can deliver damn-near any sort of information (no matter how difficult) to another person as long as you handle yourself with grace and kindness. I talk much about standing up for yourself, saying “no”, establishing boundaries and doing it all by showing up in a way in which you can be proud… and for me, that has always been kindness and grace.

But, what if grace and kindness don’t work? What if you’ve been boundary-ing your ass off to no avail? What if you reeeeeally want to just lose your shit on someone? Like, really just let them have it. Perhaps your ex… maybe a dead-beat parent… Maybe someone who, let’s be honest, is asking for it. Is there ever a time when anger is justified? Or the best choice even? One listener wrote to the show with this exact quandary so in this episode I share 5 steps to help you figure out if going off on someone is the best choice for you and how to discern when to play the anger card and when to play the G+K card.

This pod explores:

  • How to know if you’ve really given “grace + kindness” the good college try
  • How to figure out if the consequences of unleashing your anger is worth it
  • How to figure out if you’re attached to the other person’s response
  • How to know when you should totally GO OFF and when you shouldn’t


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