[AMY SAYS] 12 Ways We Abandon Ourselves and What to Do About It – PART 1 EP#411

Sep 19, 2021

Don’t rock the boat. Don’t open up a can of worms. Sweep it under the rug. We have so many idioms that metaphorically express a common message: KEEP. QUIET. And if we unpack that message even further, there are a few inferences: 1) If you do speak up there is something wrong with you and 2) You should make other people’s comfort more important than your own truth. Oof.

Listen, chronically and consistently putting others in front of ourselves is poison disguised as nobility. Early on we learn that taking care of everyone else and making sure everyone else is okay is our life’s work. That it is noble to sacrifice Self. At all costs. But, there is a grave cost to constantly seeking approval outside of yourself, hiding who you are, and dismissing your own needs. In a word, Self-Abandonment. (Well, two words hyphenated.) The idea that we discount who we are and what we need in order to make everyone else happy. Or possibly because we don’t believe we even deserve to be happy.

In this week’s show, (the first of a two-part series) I look at 12 common ways we tend to abandon ourselves in order to search for our worth and happiness in external factors. Many of these behaviors are tactics we adopted to stay safe and protect ourselves, so this certainly isn’t a chastisement but rather a way to examine what we do, why we do it, and choose behaviors that feel empowering and honoring. Grab a pen and paper because there are many real-world assignments for you to implement. 

This pod explores:

  • Understanding the pull to abandon ourselves and how this is a completely normal defense mechanism
  • The instinct to people-please and how to know when it’s healthy and when it’s not
  • Learning to lean into your intuition and what the hell that even means (and my favorite first step)
  • The missing piece of practicing vulnerability and how to actually do it

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Additional Resources:

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I'm a sassy-ass life coach and hypnotherapist who specializes in all things self-worth and confidence. I help aspiring badasses (hint: that's YOU!) stand up for themselves without being assholes. As in... telling your mom to stop butting into your relationship. You feel me, no?

It's time to let go of all that people-pleasing and cultivate some serious "enoughness". You're home, love. You're home.

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